Sex in the S'pore City

Sex Tip #17 - The Indian Rocking Horse

2006-05-11T10:47:00.000+08:00

#17 The Indian Rocking Horse

Here's a great position that allows for extra-deep penetration but do take note that you need a bit of imagination for this.

Here's What You Need:

Just the two of you. A solid bed, not those that creaks...

Here's How You Do It:

Get your woman naked. You, too. (This is really ridiculous.) My next post onwards I will not tell you readers to take off your clothes. I am pretty sure you guys/gals will do so before trying any of these out anyway...

Enter your woman in the standard missionary position.

Now, both of you sit up while you're still joined together. Have her put her arms around your neck.

Put both of your arms between her legs, positioning your elbows under her knees. Lift up and rest her calves or ankles on your shoulders.

Clasp your hands behind her back and rock your body back and forth. Don't worry about about thrusting in and out; let the rocking motion do all of the work.

Sex Tip #16 - Baby Elephant Trunks

2006-05-09T13:40:00.000+08:00

#16 Seltzer-gasm

This is a fun way to let your woman experience something she never has before: thousands of tiny bubbles swirling around her most sensitive area. Be sure to use the non-medicinal variety of the tablet. You can also try vitamin C tablets.

Here's What You Need:

One glass of water.
One effervescent bicarbonate tablet without medicinal properties.

Here's How You Do It:

Get your woman naked. Have her lie on her back with her knees bent and legs slightly apart.

Break the tablet into four quarters.

Place the rounded edge of one quarter tablet between the top-most portion of your woman's vaginal lips. Insert only enough of the tablet to hold it in place.

Take a small sip of water and keep it in your mouth.

Press your lips against the portion of her vagina holding the tablet and open them so that a small stream of water trickles out. This should activate the tablet and release bubbles around her vagina.

Get into some serious oral pleasuring. When necessary, take another sip of water. If needed, replace the tablet with a fresh piece.

Continue until your woman says, "Oh, what a relief it is."

Sex Tip #15 - Baby Elephant Trunks

2006-04-28T15:20:00.000+08:00

#15 Baby Elephant Trunks

This technique feels so good that there's actually two versions of it.

Here's What You Need:

One bottle of water-based lubricant.

Here's How You Do It:

Version One:

Get your woman naked. Have her lie on her back with her knees bent and legs slightly apart.

Apply a little lubricant to the backs of both of your hands, including your wrists and fingertips.

Extend one of your hands, palm down. Curl your fingers inward halfway to the palm. Place the wrist of that hand against the bottom portion of your woman's vagina.

Using smooth strokes, glide your entire hand, including your fingers, up and over her vagina and clitoris.

Immediately repeat using the other hand, performing the exact same motion. It kind of looks like you're painting a fence; except you're never stroking down -- always up.

Version Two:

Have your woman get on all fours and perform the same technique from behind her (this reverses the motion).

Sex Tip #14 - Chopsticks World Cup

2006-04-26T15:48:00.000+08:00

#14 Chopsticks World Cup

Chopsticks are not only for eating, give this technique a try. It lets your woman feel your tongue in areas that you normally could not reach.

Here's What You Need:

One pair of chopsticks.

Here's How You Do It:

Get your woman naked. Have her lie on her back with her knees bent and legs slightly apart.

Whip out the chopsticks. If they're made of wood, make certain there are no splinters (it's amazing how one, lone splinter can ruin your entire evening). Con't be a cheapskate, use proper ones and not from hawker centre kind...

Place each chopstick along the outer edge of your woman's vaginal lips. Use your thumb and fingers to gently roll each fold of skin around the chopstick. You need to do this before her vagina gets too moist; otherwise, her skin will not want to remain rolled up around the chopsticks.

The chopsticks will now resemble goal posts. Your tongue is going to be the football. To kick a field goal, you must place the football between the goal posts and indulge in some serious oral pleasuring.

When your woman has achieved a terrific orgasm, do the wave...

Sex tip no.13 - Showergasm

2006-04-25T16:53:00.000+08:00

#13 Showergasm

Women have been pleasuring themselves this way for years. Now it's your turn.

Here's What You Need:

One hand-held shower massager.

Here's How You Do It:

Get your woman naked. You, too.

Adjust the water to a comfortable temperature and activate the shower massager.

Slowly run the water over your woman's legs, thighs and stomach. With your free hand, gently stroke and caress the inner thighs and bikini line.

Place the first and second fingers of your free hand on each side of her vagina. Gently push the skin up and out, exposing the clitoris.

Point the jets of water at the clitoris, making sure that the stream is not too hot or forceful. Do not hold the massager too close to your woman. Start from as far back as you can, slowly moving closer (your woman can tell you if any adjustments need to be made).

Continue until you induce a powerful and satisfying orgasm.

Sex tip no.12 - Modified Scissors

2006-04-24T13:59:00.000+08:00

#12 The Modified Scissors

If you've ever wanted to stimulate those hard-to-reach spots inside your woman's vagina, this is the position to try.

Here's What You Need:

Just the two of you.

Here's How You Do It:

Get your woman naked. You, too.
Have her lie down on either her left or right side.

Tell your woman to take whichever leg is on top and raise it towards her chest so that her foot is resting on her other leg's knee.

Enter your woman from behind. She will be astonished at how deep you can plunge yourself inside of her.Continue this position until she's begging you to stop.

JC Boy commited suicide cos his dick too small.

2006-04-21T14:47:00.000+08:00

This is not a joke, it did happen and it was published on the Straits Times. Apparently he complained about the size of his penis, he thought it was too small. His mom brought him to see a Dr. and was told it's normal size but he don't believe and jumped to his death. He's a normal guy in Junior College, so should be around 16yrs or 17yrs old? Got girlfriend. Got lots of friends.

Ok, here's where I draw the line. This blog is not only about sex but also to help and educate people. Wished he came to us for advice before jumping, maybe we could have helped him.

All guys feel their dick is smaller than others. But hor, we cannot compare with porn stars lah except for Japanese ones, HAHAHAHHA!!! Jap porn stars all small and flacid.

Then when we visit little boys room, cannot compare also to others. Here's the magic reason. You see ure dick from topview, hence your dick look smaller. If you see your dick from the sideview its different. Its bigger cos you can see the whole length and got balls and such and such. So the guy peeing next to you ALWAYS have a bigger dick than you.

We also covered the topic of MICRO-PENIS, which is considered as a diability. The smallest recorded penis length when erected being all of 4cm. Even IKEA pencil also longer than that...

Well, so, unless you suffer from MICRO-PENIS, your dick is of normal size! Even if they are small, so what! Life goes on, it's not a reason to commit suicide. There are ways to overcome it.

1. Trim your pubic hair to triangle shape with the tip pointing towards your dick, this will make it look bigger.

2. Shave it bald, you notice all porn stars do that??? Optical illusion my friends!

3. During sex, do doggy or scissors style for EXTREME penetration. These positions have been known to provide the deepest penetration.

End-note; LOVE YOUR DICK! No matter the size.

Sex tip no.11 - Rescuing The Captain

2006-04-21T14:26:00.000+08:00

#11 Rescuing The Captain

What are you going to do when the Captain goes overboard? You've
got to rescue him, right?

Here's What You Need:

One peppermint breath mint with a hole. (You know which brand lah ah...)

Here's How You Do It:

Put the mint in your mouth and give it a couple of minutes to partially dissolve. In the meantime, get you woman naked. Have her lie on her back with her knees bent and legs slightly apart.

With the mint still in your mouth, arouse your woman by gently kissing and licking her inner thighs, bikini line and vagina.

If your woman is sufficiently aroused, you should be able to spot the clitoris. That's the "Captain." It's your job to rescue him.

Move the mint to the tip of your tongue. Press the mint against your woman's clitoris and release it.

Using suction, draw the clitoris through the hole in the mint. Flick your tongue as rapidly as you can over the clitoris and mint.

Only when your woman reaches orgasm have you successfully "rescued the Captain."

If you want to create an entire "Titanic" theme, place an ice cube in your woman's navel.

Sex tip no.10

2006-04-21T14:19:00.000+08:00

#10 The Dutch Drawbridge

Here's a terrific position that heightens the stimulation of the top portion of your woman's vagina. It's tough to imagine but I tell you it's worth it!

Here's What You Need:

Just the two of you.

Here's How You Do It:

Get your woman naked. You, too.

Sit up in the bed with your legs extended in front of you.

Have your woman kneel above you facing you, straddling your lap. Then, lower her down until you are inside of her.

Now have your woman lean all the way back until her head is resting on your legs or ankles. Her knees should be bent so that her feet are underneath her buttocks.

You're not going to be able to thrust yourself into her with the same force you can achieve from, say, the missionary position. But the thrusts you do provide will be magnified in their intensity based on the angle at which you are entering her.

*Note*
Sorry for the long absent, just came back from long Island trip...*wink**wink*

Sex tip no.9

2006-03-22T17:18:00.000+08:00

#9 The Steaming Diamond

Sports trainers and athletes have always known about the magical qualities of moist heat. Nothing soothes and relaxes the muscles faster and more efficiently. One of them may have even come up with this technique.

Here's What You Need:

Two washcloths.
One bowl of hot water.
One pair of scissors.

Here's How You Do It:

Before you're going to make love, cut a three to four inch diagonal slit in the middle of each washcloth. Fill a bowl with hot water and place both of the washcloths in it to soak.

Get your woman naked. Have her lie on her back with her knees bent and legs slightly apart.

Wring out one of the washcloths. Turn it forty-five degrees so that it looks like a diamond instead of a square.

Lay the washcloth over your woman's pubic area. The top of the diamond should be touching her pubic hair. The bottom will be at her anus and both sides will be against her inner thighs. Line the slit up with her vagina and use your hands to press and hold the washcloth in place.

Insert your tongue in between the slit and preform your finest oral pleasuring moves.

After a couple of minutes the washcloth will have cooled down. No problem. Just put it back in the bowl, wring out the other washcloth, lay it over the same area and continue until your woman achieves one of the "hottest" orgasms she's ever experienced.

Sex tip no.8

2006-03-21T10:11:00.000+08:00

#8 The Sensual Summons

Here's a great way to stimulate a sensitive, but often neglected, area of your woman's vagina. You may even run across the elusive and controversial "G-spot."

Here's What You Need:

One bottle of water-based lubricant.

Here's How You Do It:

Get your woman naked. Have her lie on her back with her knees bent and legs slightly apart.

Apply a small amount of lubricant to your hands.

Gently caress your woman's thighs, stomach and bikini line, gradually increasing the pressure.

Delicately squeeze the outer lips of her vagina, one at a time, between your thumb and index finger. Slowly slide up and down the entire length of each lip.

Carefully insert your index finger into your woman's vagina.

With your palm facing up, draw your index finger up and toward you as if you are summoning a person (you know: the "come here" gesture). Repeat the move at a steady pace, letting your fingertip constantly stimulate the upper wall of her vagina.

While continuing to do that with one hand, use the thumb or index finger of your other hand to trace small circles around your woman's clitoris.

Keep these two motions going until your woman explodes in a mind-numbing orgasm.

Sex tip no.7

2006-03-20T15:21:00.000+08:00

#7 Mint Two-lip

The cooling sensation of peppermint has never been put to better use than in this technique. Your woman will love it.

Here's What You Need:

One glass of peppermint schnapps.

Here's How You Do It:

Get your woman naked. Have her lie on her back with her knees bent and legs slightly apart.

Pour a small amount of schnapps into your woman's navel.

Dip the tip of your tongue into the schnapps and trace small circles around one of your woman's nipples. Blow on it to accentuate the cool feeling.

Do the same thing to her other nipple.

Again, dip your tongue into the pool of schnapps you've poured into her navel. Run your tongue along both sides of her vagina and gently blow.

Pleasure your woman orally, pausing to reapply the schnapps to your tongue.

Sex tip no.6

2006-03-15T14:41:00.000+08:00

#6 Walking The Wall

This is a great way to find find just the right angle to stimulate her G-spot.

Here's What You Need:

Just the two of you.

Here's How You Do It:

Get your woman naked. You, too.
Have her sit on the edge of the bed with her legs apart.
With you standing, enter your woman.
Have her bend her knees, letting her feet rest on your stomach.
As you continue thrusting, tell your woman to "walk" up your chest, placing one foot in front of the other.

As she does this, you'll stimulate different areas of her vagina. It's up to your woman to determine exactly where she should be on "the wall" to achieve an indescribable orgasm.

Sex tip no.5

2006-03-13T09:35:00.000+08:00

#5 Parad-ice

Here's another classic technique that's become a standard today thanks
to the movie "9 1/2 Weeks." If your woman is somewhat shy, it's a great
way to introduce some new things in the bedroom. Even if she's not shy, it still feels terrific.

Here's What You Need:

One ice cube.

Here's How You Do It:

Get your woman naked. Have her lie on her back.

Put the ice cube in your mouth. Open your mouth slightly and use your tongue to push the cube to the front of your mouth. A small portion of the cube should be sticking out beyond your lips.

Slowly glide the cube over your woman's neck, breasts, stomach, thighs and legs.

Hold your head about six inches above one of your woman's nipples. Let a few drops of melted ice fall onto and trickle down her nipple. If it's not already, her nipple will become fully erect.

Do the same thing with the other nipple.

Take the ice cube back into your mouth completely. Rub the tip of your tongue over the cube so that it becomes cold.

Pleasure your woman orally, pausing to rub the tip of your tongue back over the cube whenever necessary.

Sex tip no.4

2006-03-10T12:09:00.000+08:00

#4 The Standing Wrap

If you can manage it, this is a position she'll never forget.

Here's What You Need:

Just the two of you.

Here's How You Do It:

Get your woman naked. You, too.

Sit on the edge of the bed and have your woman stand in front of you.

Tell your woman to place one leg on the bed, then the other, and sit on your lap as your enter her.

Now that she's sitting on your lap with you inside of her, have her place her arms around your neck and wrap her legs around your waist. After she's done this, stand up. Put your arms under her buttocks to help stabilize her.

Walk to the nearest wall and let your woman's back rest against it. Now you're ready to thrust in and out of your woman as you hold her pinned against the wall.

Continue until she reaches an indescribable orgasm, or the neighbors start banging on the wall. In that case, switch walls and keep going!

Sex tip no.3

2006-03-09T10:01:00.000+08:00

#3 The Cotton Spritzer

This is a very romantic technique that not only pleases your woman -- it gives you a little bit of a buzz, too.

Here's What You Need:

One pair of cotton panties.
One bottle of wine.

Here's How You Do It:

Have your woman strip down to nothing but her cotton panties (make sure the panties are cotton; nylon just doesn't cut it for this one).

With your woman standing, kneel down in front of her.

Pull the waistline of her panties toward you, creating an opening about two inches wide.

Pour a small amount of wine into the panties and release. Let the wine soak the crotch of the panties as well as your woman's vagina.

Now place your mouth against the crotch of her panties and suck the wine through the fabric and into your mouth. Don't be surprised as your woman presses her hips against your face -- this is extremely erotic.

Do this three or four times, then set down the bottle of wine.

Gather the crotch of your woman's panties together in one hand. Position your open mouth underneath and squeeze hard. This should wring out a small trickle of wine from her panties onto your tongue.

Keep holding the crotch of her panties in your hand and pull them to one side. Now pleasure your woman orally until she explodes in a delicious orgasm.

Sex tip no.2

2006-03-08T11:59:00.000+08:00

#2 The Corkscrew

Here's a great hand technique that will drive your woman wild.

Here's What You Need:

Just the two of you.

Here's How You Do It:

Get your woman naked. Have her lie on her back with her knees bent and her legs open wide.

Sit "Indian-style" between your woman's legs.

Cross the index and middle fingers of one of your hands (you know, the traditional "keep your fingers crossed" gesture).

Slowly insert your crossed fingers into your woman's vagina. As you do this, rotate your forearm back and forth. Insert your fingers deep enough so that your thumb is now brushing her clitoris from side to side as your forearm rotates.

Continue until you pop your woman's cork.

Sex tip no.1

2006-03-07T11:18:00.000+08:00

To all our devoted readers, we are sorry that we have not been actively adding any new entries for a long time.

Just to update you guys, Horny has got a job and is busy working. Gila is no longer working but busy looking for one. Me been given more shit from work and had to fly around. Me wifey also been busy with her work. So to summarise, we been busy with work.

So to make up for lost time, I will be posting daily sex tips for the next few weeks. Or try to lah...

Before we start, some of the techniques described in my articles will call for you or your partner to have cough drops, mints, ice cubes and other objects in your mouth. Be very careful not to swallow these objects while performing these techniques. If you think there is even the slightest possibility that you could accidentally swallow one these of these objects, STOP PERFORMING THE TECHNIQUE IMMEDIATELY. There are plenty of other ones that you can do instead. Do not attempt these techniques under the influence of alcohol or any other controlled substance.

Please remember to exercise extreme caution and common sense when performing any of the techniques described. Neither the author, nor anyone associated with this blog are liable for any injuries or damage to personal property resulting from actions associated with the material presented within.

Use at your own risk.

#1 The Menthol Marinade

This technique really packs a huge payoff for very little prep work. Some
women claim that different cough drops provide varying degrees of stimulation. It seems to be purely a matter of personal preference, so don't be afraid to experiment with a variety of brands and flavors. If you are intense, use Listerine's Pocketpak strips!!!

Here's What You Need:

One mentholated cough drop, any flavor or Listerine's Pocketpak Strips.

Here's How You Do It:

Get your woman naked.

Put the cough drop or Strip in your mouth. You need to give it a couple of minutes to partially dissolve; so use this time to pepper her belly, bikini line and inner thighs with little kisses. If in a hurry, use Listerine Pocketpak strips as it dissolves MUCH faster.

Swirl the cough drop around in your mouth, making sure to rub the tip of your tongue against it. Now, keeping the cough drop in your mouth, gently begin to lick around the vagina, paying special attention to the clitoris. In a few moments your woman will begin to feel both the hot and cool sensation of the menthol penetrating her body.

For added stimulation, pause every minute or so and gently blow on the clitoris (the air reactivates the cooling properties of the menthol and provides a sensation most women find immensely pleasurable).

Women all over the world have gone absolutely crazy for this little ditty. Done properly, it will have her yodeling, "Ree-colaaaaaaaaa!"

Look at what I found in Watson's!

2006-02-15T16:10:00.000+08:00

I was shopping around Watson's the other day with Horny when we came across the new line of vibrators from Durex. It looks interesting enough. So are the pricing...

There are 2 out in the market now, one is called PLAY wand and the other PLAY little gem. PLAY is durex's aptly named line into the sex toy market.

play wand
This one is for vaginal penetration and it is designed to hit the G-spot. Ergonomically designed and weighs pretty comfortably. Not too heavey to make you tired yet not too light and delicate that you may break it during the peak of your enjoyment. It has 3 speeds and also pulse mode, sounds like a mixer/juicer eh? What sets this dildo apart from the rest other than the fact that they are available in Watson's, they come with rechargeable batteries!!! That to me has to be the buy factor cos, others you got to keep on buying batteries and don't you hate it when in the throes of pleasure your weapon of choice dies and you have no spare batteries?!?!? Come to think of it, it looks like those high tech weapons you see in Star Trek or other sci-fi movies...

play little gem This one is designed so that it is easy to hold and comes with a massaging head for extreme clit tickling and also a flexible rubber lip that "flutters" for a more sensual tickling feel. Wah, durex really went all out to research huh? Again it comes with 3 variable speeds and pulse function. And yes this comes with rechargeable batteries too. And this one REALLY look like a sci-fi gun. Maybe if your frens/relatives sees it you can just bluff your way telling them that it is just a toy your ex/boyfren/cousin/kid brother left in your possesion...

Summary
Before you rush off to Watson's, I have to warn you that the price is a staggering 3 digit with 1 as the first digit. If you wanna get this, it has to be for investment and not just for fun unless you don't mind parting with that much cash. Again, with all purchases of sex toys, DO read the reviews and DO consider if you will use it. DON'T buy on impulse and DON'T buy cheap as cheap may = to faulty products sometimes. We do not want to see you on the cover of the New Paper with some embarassing headline...

The back door anyone?

2006-02-13T15:36:00.000+08:00

The three of us (Gila, Horny and me) got together and ass often the case, we started talking about sex. This is pretty common during our meal conversations.

They were assking about anal sex, they assked the common questions such ass; it should hurt like hell, right? How can a dick get into the small hole?? Isn't it dirty??? Shiok meh????

I guess it's an option if you and your partner decide to do something kinky. Heck this one don't need latex, candles, fire or whips and chains. Just lubrication and knowledge. Most women are not open to this ass they anticipate the pain and allthe guys have tried this one way or the other by aiming for the ass and saying,"Oops wrong hole, slippery lah..." Before we go any deeper (Pun so not intended), I would like to inform you that anal sex is illegal in Singapore as it is categorised ass unnatural sex so, you have been warned, please do not blame me or this blog if anything happens to you.

Most important, talk to your partner and get a feel(note; not only for anal, for everything else like BJ, swollowing, cumming on her expensive blue dress oh, wait that's Lewinsky...). If he/she is open to it then you can go to the next level....

Getting ready; you got to have the following:
1. An erected dick.
2. A willing participant.
3. LUBRICATION! Water bassed please as you have to wear condom and oil bassed will eat thru the latex.
4. Butt plug (optional) to insert instead of your finger.
5. Patience. As like anything new, do not rush into it, as injuries can/will happen if you do.

Apply a dollop of lubrication, don't be stingy and use only the size of 20cent coin, on the outside of the anus. Rub it in a circular motion and on the way lubricating your finger. make sure you have short fingernails, don't have any hang nails or sharp nails ass it might hurt your partner. Slowly and gently push your finger into her/his anus and wait for a response from your partner. For a beginner, your partner will automatically clench her/his ass muscle, that's a no no. Tell your partner to relax and think happy thoughts. Once your finger is all in, try and move it in and out. Still pain, use more lube! If still cannot, don't be disappointed, try again next time.

Once your partner is comfortable, remove your finger and put on your favourite condom and get ready!!! Apply more lube on your condomified dick and gently push it into the ass. slowly. key word here; SLOWLY!!! Once in, start with slow gentle strokes then go faster as you both get comfy. There you go, your first anal.

Be warned; it is after all the anus, your shit hole so, when you remove your dick you might see some peanut butter. Don't go crazy and start "eeeyeeeew-ing" in front of your partner ass this will make her/him embarrased. Just quickly take a piece of tissue and cover, wipe and throw.

To summarise; relax, lube, enjoy it SLOWLY and if cannot go in; don't be disappointed, try again next time.

Admission of guilt

2006-02-09T14:00:00.000+08:00

While still on the topic of younger CHILD older ADULT relationships, okay lar, I admit. What if I'm a teacher and I lust after 16 year old kids? Then, what if they offer themselves to me on a platter? Then how? (Of course they lust after me too lar.) Then how?

I guess we place a lot of trust in teachers nowadays. But seriously, gone are the days when people in MY generation had old fuddy duddies with bad perms for teachers. In those days, teachers were Misses Pristine, Prim and Proper. Nowadays, not so. Teachers smoke, pepper their sentences with obscenities, watch porn and hell yes, they fuck around. I wonder how those MALE PE teachers handle their lust- probably with a lot of cold showers.

A friend of mine seems to have started going out with an 18 year old girl. I think he's 28 this year. Somehow, I feel it's so wrong. Yet, knowing how wonderful it is to be adored in such perfection is absolutely amazing. I mean, the amount of mind- control you have over that girl. You could convince her to do anything. Anything!

When I was 15, a 22-year-old took interest in me. I told him over the phone, 'Cannot! Cos you're too OLD!' Alamak so kanasai, right? I was rather straightforward then. Sometimes I find myself wondering what if... Anyway, things change as you grow older. When I hit 20, everything became ok. Except when you go out with a man your father's age. Er- that one also cannot. People tend to talk. It's especially when one party is still in his/her teens- something's 'wrong'. But if we factor in how much faster kids grow up nowadays, isn't 16 equivalent to 20 ten years back, then? Then going out with a 17 year old isn't as bad as it was then, isn't it?

Would you?

2006-02-06T16:48:00.000+08:00

Recently in the news there's been an article about a 30 year old going out with someone 15 years old.
Would you?
Each can be attractive to the other. Well, men ALWAYS find young girls attractive. They are lithe, fresh (meaning they have fewer hang-ups cos they haven't been screwed over, yet) and well, youthful- wrinkle free skin, stretchmark-free butt, the works.

Youth is an aphrodisiac.

For young girls, an older man is also attractive. He'll be more powerful- he'd have money, and certainly more control over his own time and do what he wants to do.

Power is an aphrodisiac.

There is not much else to stop such relationships apart from social stigma. It seems like the perfect relationship. Girls don't get the attention they need from their fathers. Older man comes into the picture and gives her everything.

Why do people get uncomfortable with this?

Perhaps it is because we know that there is too much of an imbalance of power. One has too much control over the other. Older man can do anything he wants with younger girl if he knows how to pull her strings/push her buttons right.

Kids don't stay kids very long nowadays. By the time they're 14, you can forget about limiting their world view of sex and pornography. You can do little to stop them from believing that sex is for fun and a separate matter from love. Here in Singapore, this means we're in a for a generation of teenagers who grow up callous, unfeeling and untrusting.

Now, if a 15-year-old offered herself/himself to you, would you say No?

The-Only-Gay-in-the-Village Syndrome

2006-01-31T20:56:00.000+08:00

How is it that this still exists in Singapore? In my experience, the most fun, uninhibited people are my gay and lesbian friends. Why then do some people still feel so alone in their choice of lifestyle, sexual orientation- here in Singapore?

This is a picture of Daffyd, my favourite character from Little Britian. He thinks everyone is out to get him because he's gay when actually everyone else IS gay and very willing to make him a welcome partner for their beds. Yet, he proudly yet cynically claims he is the Only Gay in the Village.

Sad to say, there are many in our midst and so many do not dare to come out of the closet for fear of social rejection by people they love, jeopardising their careers and well, being the butt of all jokes.

That's sad. Cos I make jokes out loud about gays too.

I say things like 'That's so gay!' when I mean it half complimentary (cos it's good in style or well put) but at the same time, I mean it half derogatory (cos it's such a pain in the arse)

Whatever it is, I hope this lonely-crowd syndrome ends for many - gay or not- we are not at all alone in this world even though it may feel that way sometimes.

Osim iGallop

2006-01-23T17:32:00.000+08:00

Ok, who thinks the ad is a bit obscene/suggestive? Hands up! Or something else up! If you are asking yourself hey, it looks like that machine is giving that woman pleasure! You maybe right. I am not sure though, I must get one of my girlfriends to try it out.

As you know after the 70's women have been quite innovative by using home applaince to give them pleasure like an unbalanced load in the washer/dryer, vibrating pagers, anything that vibrates and so on. This iGallop looks liek its another one of those.

Sadly, Osim thinks it is coming up with a new concept, they are WRONG! Before there was iGallop, there was the SYBIAN! Ain't it a beauty?

It works almost the same way, but with attachments! Wow! You can read it in details here>

So far Osim has come up with many interesting devices for the ladies, handheld massagers, iGallop and so on. I wonder if Osim will make one ofr the guys... If any of the R&D guys from Osim is reading this, contact me, we'll do lunch yeah?

Update; we got Gila to try the Osim i-Squeeze and the feedback was heh heh heh. If you position your body correctly you will get aroused as the clit is being rubbed. So, an expensive toy for Valentine's day anyone?

DIY for men.

2005-12-19T17:08:00.000+08:00

After reading Horny's DIY review, I felt that I should also write one just for the guys... Most of the products are sleeves (D-uh!?) or vagina/ass lookalikes made of silicon or some other soft-rubbery material that supposedly "feels" like a real woman. There other more complicated ones like blow up dolls which have been around for ages since the 70's. These are just conventional masturbation tools. There other errr, how shall I put it... "kinky" ones like butt plugs and so on.

The most hyped - Fleshlight

Fleshlight - The name says it all its got flesh and it looks like a flashlight. Basically as the website quotes,"Sex in a can!" Its made of this super soft material insert that mimics the actual feeling of a real woman. So you got this gel thingy that looks like a pussy, add lubticant and start pumping. Fo r more Shiok feel, soak the gel in hot/warm water first to give it "warmth". (HAHAHA!) It's supposedly so good that some people prefer it to real sex. It also comes with many type of inserts like vagina, mouth, anal or non-descript. The last one is just a slot like those for 50cent kiddy rides. That's just the entrance. Inside also got different types like the normal smooth, ribbed or super tight! I think these are only available in states and euro but I heard you can get it in Sg too for around SGD$110.00. Please do use LIBERAL amounts of lubrications as friction burns on dicks hurt like hell. I am not saying it from experience.

Sleeves
Sleeves - Are plain old and boring lah. Basically its made of stretchable rubber/silicone and you insert your penis and start pumping with your best friends, Mrs Palmer and her five lovely daughters. Again be warned; Use LIBERAL amounts of lubrication! You can get these from your local sex shops around town or Geylang area. These ranges from SGD$8.00 to SGD$30.00.

Sleeves that looks like pussies
This is another type of sleeves but they have the look of pussies or anuses. Also comes with in-built vibrators! Some are advertised as pussies of famous porn actresses like Jenna Jameson and so on. These cost quite a bit. I saw a few at the LSS (Local Sex Shops) for around SGD$65.00 till SGD$200.00++ for supposedly super shiok ones and with fancy gadgets liek super strong vibrators or rotating pearl vibrator rings like the Jack Rabbit for women.

...
Blow up dolls
Now, this is just sad lah... I have not known of ANYONE using this. Guys, don't be fooled by their packaging. The box might put a picture of a very sexy and beautiful lady but what you get inside is damn sad... And not to mention the price. These dolls cost a bomb. It ranges from SGD$75 and up. I wouldn't recommend you to buy this unless you wanna buy it as a prank for a friend. Or a girlfriend for someone who is VERY lonely like that guy in the movie, 40 Year Old Virgin. Horny Limpet asked me to put this new item; RealDoll ( www.realdoll.com ). They are VERY lifelike but the price will kill you; SGD$300+++.

Penis Enlargers

Ok, this is totally new territory. I was told that some guys actually gets a load off out of using a penis enlarger. It works by putting your dick into a plastic cylinder and pumping out the air from the other end so that the penis is pulled up or into the tube. The kick is of cos fighting the pull. This sounds mighty dangerous as you CAN pull ure faithful friend off!!! *Please DO NOT TRY THIS at home/office/beach/padang/girlfriend's house. I or this Blog will not be held liable for anyones' sex related accidents.* Pumps are expensive. LCS sells them from SGD$85.00 to SGD$200.00++

As you can tell, the companies out there that makes these products are out to make money from you. DO read the toy's reviews before purchasing. DON'T BUY ON IMPULSE.

So, gentlemen, choose your weapons and start pumping.

The Argument

2005-12-19T11:48:00.000+08:00

One of the great things about a blog like this is that I get to put in my real thoughts about sex and I have to say, there hasn't been enough discussed about the view which opposes our worldly one.

I learnt this while I was away and visiting the Missionaries of Charity in Kolkota. Now, when you walk around a place like Kolkota and see all the undernourished, starving homeless children, you wonder how The Pope can say No to abortion and contraception. These are the obvious solutions to the population crises that India and Africa are going through. It really doesn't make sense to us, coming from a place like Singapore. Then there are also all the other implications that come into place, like, if you don't legalise abortion then, you get illegal backstreet doctors who kill both mother and child with some dirty rusty blade.

I met a priest there and he was a Jesuit. He wrote Mother Teresa's speeches when she was alive. This is his answer to the Abortion and contraceptive issue. I'm sure I can't say it as succinctly as he could but this is what I understood of it.

The Church's stand on this has been correct so far. The relativist in me says how can anyone in this day and age every know what the Truth is?

His answer is through observation.

The Romans and the Greeks, like us Singaporeans, placed their highest value as Pleasure. So, they used condoms made of animal intestine, all kinds of stuff you got in those days. They had fewer and fewer children, until they became an aging population that could no longer sustain itself and died out. In effect they commited suicide by having fewer and fewer children.

As for all the starving children in India... If a man insists on having sex with his wife who already has 8 other children whom she cannot feed..and she will die if she gets pregnant with the 9th, causing all the children to die of starvation, should she use a contraceptive? It will save herself and her 8 children.

If we say yes, then we are saying that our highest value is Survival.

If we say no, then we are saying our highest value is Love, as a society- because she is asking her husband to love and respect her and her children (I think). If he doesn't, then death is a better option than to live a life without love.

The priest gave another example, say she allows him to have sex with her, and later she develops a painful condition of the vagina, so she can't have him there anymore, should she give him her mouth? If he doesn't get sex he'll leave her and the kids and her will starve to death.

If yes, then once again the highest value is Survival and not Love.

It's hard to swallow (no pun intended) here, but I am beginning to believe in the truth of this. He's managed to make me question myself again.

Mrs Bullshit ramblings

2005-12-13T12:18:00.000+08:00

It’s been 8 days since Mr Bullshit has gone away. I’m lonely. Whilst it’s a luxury to be able to occupy the bed fully by myself and not have a hand in my face in the middle of the night, it just does not make up for everything.

Television programmes on a weekday are boring. I turn to my computer for solace. However, again, there are only so many websites I surf. I’m out of inspiration on what other news I need to look up on. I have already done my research for our impending Thailand trip. Eventually, I end up at Mr Bullshit’s folder of adult videos. I spent an interesting few hours in that folder. Sometimes it’s hilarious how older women think that tying their hair in pigtails will convince viewers that yes, they are really teens. Or you have the “victims” who very co-operatively take off their clothes although their “attacker” did not have any weapon on him (The type that fires or cuts, although he had one that discharges or shoots).

The one that really stunned me was how 2 Japanese schoolgirls pretended to be forced on a train. And it’s really a public train here. How the hell did they shoot this (Damn, that word again)?mCan everyone see what’s going on? Is no one shocked or blushing in that train? No wonder the train tickets in Japan were so expensive! Passengers get the occasional free entertainment. Wow.. Hey... Mr Bullshit says it went so fast that he didn’t even get a good look at Mount Fuji when he was there. Hmm... Was it the speed of the train or was he just distracted by other views? I must ask him when he gets back.

Anyway, in rummaging thru Mr Bullshit’s collection, I am once again reminded how anal (damn, why is this whole article filled with words having double meaning?) he is. He actually segregates and saves them in categories. Wow. Impressive. And he says I’m mad for trying to categorise our DVD collection of movies.

Meanwhile, after watching all those adult entertainment, it’s not fun going to bed alone. Miss him even more. Mr Bullshit, if you’re reading this in Jakarta, know that you’re not the only one missing hot action. However, any acts by you to relieve your loneliness in the nightclubs over there is NOT EXCUSABLE.

G-Spot

2005-12-12T13:33:00.000+08:00

History

The Grafenberg spot (G-Spot for short), named after the Berlin gynaecologist, Dr Ernest Gräfenberg, who noted its erotic significance in the 1950's. The G-spot in women is almost analogous to the male prostate gland.

Myth?

There is some controversy whether the G-spot actually exists. And if it does exist, whether it does anything. For a significant percentage of women, it does something and what it does is really something.

What is it?

It is hypothesized that the G-spot is either a bundle of nerves coming from the clitoris, or a gland or series of glands that produces lubrication. Not all women, it is believed, have a G-spot. The G-Spot is not easily located. Sometimes women have a hard time finding it and do not even believe they have one.

Where is it?

The infamous G-spot can be found in the area on the anterior or front wall of the vagina, between the opening and the cervix, which is often found to be extremely sensitive to stimulation. Most times, it is located about half way between the back of the pubic bone and the front of the cervix, along the course of the urethra and near the neck of the bladder, where it connects with the urethra.

The size and exact location vary. Try to imagine a small clock inside the vagina with 12 o'clock pointed towards the navel. The majority of women will have the G-spot located between 11 and 1 o'clock, a few inches inside the vagina.

Unlike the clitoris, which protrudes from the surrounding tissue, it lies deep within the vaginal wall, and a firm pressure is often needed to contact the G spot in its unstimulated state. Usually it is a bean sized, spongy area which responds to stimulation by hardening and swelling as blood rushes to it. Kind of rough touch to it.

Let’s explore

You can find the G-spot by inserting one or two fingers in the vagina with the palm facing the pubic bone. Gently bend your fingers 'forward' so that they stroke the anterior wall of the vagina. You may feel a raised spot or series of ridges, or you may feel nothing in particular. The woman may find this extremely pleasurable, or have an urge to urinate, or both. Stroking this spot with varying degrees of pressure will tell you if you've got it or not. The G-spot almost certainly has a role in female ejaculation. (We’ll talk about it another day)

Aaaaahh…

Many women enjoy the "doggy" positions during intercourse because it stimulates the G-Spot. This is because a man's penis has better access to the front wall of the vagina. Most women need firmer pressure to the front of the vagina, quick rhythm and a lot of friction to have a G-Spot orgasm.

For pictorial, please see this and that

Source: Gräfenberg original article and internet

All I want for Christmas is "Strawberry"

2005-12-09T10:19:00.001+08:00

Okay, as Christmas approaches, one might be wondering the ultimate Christmas Present. Well, I introduce to you, the iVibe Rabbit. As seen on Sex & the City. The iVibe Rabbit pleases your every animal instinct. Available in 5 different colours. Heheee...

What?

iVibe Rabbit is made in the USA by Doc Johnson. It is one of the best selling rabbit vibrators of all time. It has a micro chip controllers with variable speed controls for both the squirming shaft, and the vibrating clit tickler.

Check out the buttons!

The iVibe rabbit offers 3 different secret pleasure modes with variations of the penis shaft rotating, moving back and forth and the clitoral stimulator rabbit pulsing and vibrating, the iVibe multi speed rabbit vibrator does it all.

There are also 3 mind blowing pleasure settings that can vary both the penis rotation which moves up and down, plus the clit vibrators pulsation. *giggles*

Is that real pearls inside?

If you press Function 1, the head will rotate while the pearls squirm and the clitoral stimulator vibrates.

Select Function 2 and the clitoral stimulator will settle into slow vibrations while the head pivots right to left and front to back (randomly).

And Function 3 makes the clitoral stimulator pulses in short quick movements and the head swings to and fro.

What Size?

The iVibe Rabbit Vibrator is 10 inches in total length with 5.5 insertable inches.
Clitoral stimulator is 3 inches.
The shaft of the IVibe Rabbit Vibrator is 1.25 inches wide and 4.5 inches in circumference.

How Much?

Quite expensive. Check online as some sites has Christmas Special and even would gift-wrap for you too.

Note: Try at your own risk!

What do Singaporean Women really want?

2005-12-08T12:40:00.000+08:00

All we ever wanted was the 5Cs.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
1. Cake
2. Chocolate
3. Cookies
4. Cheese
5. ice Cream

* proudly brought to you by Mrs Bullshit

Entitled

2005-12-08T00:10:00.000+08:00

I've found the name of the position I like. Well I found two. The first is the Knee Elbow position and the other one is called the Tripod Position.

This is strangely cathartic. Knowing there's a proper name for it, validates the position as one of love-making.

Favourite sex position?

2005-12-07T18:16:00.000+08:00

I like Missionary because I'm a lazy lover... but LOVES doggy, coz it hits the right spot. Mrs Bullshit, Gila and me all love doggy style bestest!

So what is your favourite sex position?

While we're on the Karmasutra

2005-12-07T09:00:00.000+08:00

I was thinking of how FLEXIBLE people who practise the Karmasutra must be. Last year, Bullshit, Bullshit's Wifey, and Horny and I went for Yoga class. Yoga improves one's flexibility and I think it's great for trying all those weird-ass positions you always wanted to.

From a woman's point of view, I'd have to say my favourite is still the Doggy (for hitting the right spot). Unfortunately, I find this position incredibly unsexy and sometimes, downright compromising. It's ironic how the one posture that gets you the most pleasure is also one of the more humiliating ones. If you have a position that feels great for a woman and isn't that compromising, do suggest!

Our code name for sex is 'work out'. This is quite apt cos it makes you sweat and you get a good stretch. I sort of enjoy being a petite person in this sense. All of a sudden I find myself too shy to blog on my favourite positions. Argh. Perhaps more, later.

Clothed KarmaSutra

2005-12-07T08:38:00.000+08:00

Found this "Clothed KarmaSutra" set of pictures rather interesting.

Gone with the Cyst

2005-12-06T17:31:00.000+08:00

It's gone!

I went to the gyne again today obediently- on the second day of my period. Lo and behold, the ultrasound showed a cyst-free womb. You can't believe what a relief it is to know I don't have zits anywhere else (except the one growing this moment on my nose- this is like herpes: it travels from your bottom to your face area....wah lao) anyway, I bet this a turn off to all you kind souls out there who volunteered to sleep with me to prevent cysts.

Thanks! I appreciate it!

Anyway, I did ask my gyne if this is the result of not having enough sex.

She laughed rather maniacally and said, 'No.'

Whatever it is, as a gentle reminder out there, I learnt something from this episode- 1) I should go for a PAP smear once a year. 2) I should make sure I'm covered for health insurance. I don't think civil servants are safely covered these days and once we land up in hospital the CSC card doesn't cover a lot.

I promptly met my insurance agent after my trip to the gyne. She reminded me of lesson 3) Don't marry anybody. Don't marry the wrong person.

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night suddenly remembering I haven't gotten married yet. This was probably brought on by the well-intentioned teasing of my kids that my biological clock is ticking recently. It must have entered my subconcious. Whatever it is, my principle is that nothing is a bigger turn-off than Desperation. YUCK. Also, when I look back, I know I've had enough Love to die satisfied. (But who can say No to More....heh)

In case you don't know...

2005-12-06T14:08:00.000+08:00

The statistics in 2002, was that people around the world, were having sex about 139 times a year. But hey, Singaporeans won't doing too bad at an 110 times a year. But still, we rank last together with Thailand?!?! Are you serious about Thailand? Bluff one is it? Hmm...

And then in 2003, average of times people globally, were having sex are 127 times a year. Okay, since the average dropped slightly from previous year, we (Singapore) dropped too. Singaporeans are now having sex about 96 times in a year. Again, we ranked last. Our report book have been seeing RED for two year in a row.

Last year, in 2004, again the average fell to 103 times a year. Singaporeans' report book still looked bad at 79 times a year. "But Mummy, we were second... from the bottom!!!"

This year's result just came out. Globally, people are having sex an average of 103 times a year. Singaporeans are having about 73 times a year. WAH LAU!! STILL FAIL!!!... go home sure kenna caned. Better hide report book.

Thought Singapore everything also must be Number One?

*TV so many show to watch hor? or is it World of Warcraft?

source: Durex

Raincoat, umbrella, protection or just plain condom

2005-12-06T13:32:00.000+08:00

In Singapore, there are a few brands of condoms that you can get in the supermarkets or convenient shops or mama shops. There's Durex, Okamoto, Madonna and Ansell. There are also other brands but today we just speak about the commonly seen ones in the market. Oh an advice; Do remember to use water based lubricants in air-con rooms and such as the condom MAY dry up due to the dry air and tear due to friction.

Durex is a favourite in Singapore. They are available in many places and comes in many types. Also they occasionally release limited edition condoms like chocolate flavor and the most recent one; Tingle, it's mint flavored and packed in a VERY nice bright metallic green packaging. As the name suggests it gives the couple a tingling sensation during intercourse. This brand is one of the most popularly used by Sg-eans. Durex condoms are renowned for their safety and sensitivity and many doctors around the world recommend them. Durex condoms continue to be one of the top condom brands with their endless dedication to research and development, all the time striving for better and safer sex. Downside is that they have a strong rubber and chemical aftertaste and smell. Not good for cum-drinkers.

Okamoto is known to be one of the thinnest and most sensitive condoms in the world and manufactured in Japan. Okamoto Condoms are made of SHEERLON, an advanced material so strong & durable, it can be made much thinner than ordinary latex rubber condom. And SHEERLON has a silkier, more natural feel, much like skin itself. This brand has a better aftertaste, sort of sweet and has little or no rubber smell. Very good for cum-drinkers.

Madonna condoms are relatively new to the market and you can find them mostly at Giant, Shop and Save or your corner mama shops. The cheapest among the 4 brands. Manufactured in France and very easily available in Geylang area. Ok to use lah but not my prefered choice.

Ansell condoms are the newest entry into Singpaore and are manufactured in Austalia. Horny Limpet tried them and she ended up having a "minute" case of itchiness in her pubic region. Maybe it's the chemicals that some condom manufacturers use. I got some of the limited edition ones like the glow in the darks, pretty interesting for a dark night's romp in the sack.

So that is a run down of what you can get in the shops. Of course if you shop online you can get other more exotic varieties like vibrating condoms, shell shaped condoms (from Durex, supposedly gives more feelings to the girl...) and so much more. I'll tlak about those later.

End note: Condoms don't need to be a troublesome thing to be done and over with before intercourse. With so many different types you can make it a part of your foreplay and sex. So enjoy, try a few brands, surprise your partner with a glowing dick!

Announcing The Cyst

2005-12-05T14:33:00.000+08:00

I told my boss today that I need to find someone to sleep with me.

The conversation wasn't that weird...

I informed her that I might have surgery and would be on MC if need be but I'd most probably be back in school before it started cos I'd be bored to death at home anyway. The Cyst is in the womb, so I mentioned it had to be a result of not having enough sex. Strangely, she mentioned I wasn't the only teacher to suffer such an affliction.

This only goes to show how many teachers aren't gettin' enough!

Women my age should be having babies. And if your womb ain't forming a BABY, it'll find something else to do, like form a CYST.

And this is simply proof of how abstinence isn't always a good thing. Unfortunately, my FB had to go and get married. Damn.

Of course I did not want to tell my boss this and have her think less of me. Although, I must say this would have been an excellent excuse to weasle my way out of teaching Character Education classes. (But they might co-erce me to take all the Sexuality Ed lessons then....)

So, I said, 'I need to find someone to sleep with me,' (to prevent cysts!)

Ovarian Cyst?

2005-12-03T20:50:00.000+08:00

This morning, Gila, Mrs Bullshit (Bullshit was still asleep so wifey took over) and I was chatting online discussing about Gila's new cyst. Since I stayed up till nearly 4am researching on "Cyst in Womb", I discovered that it's probably an Ovarian Cyst. I had lots of links to show the girls and then Mrs Bullshit said that she hasn't been to the Gyne in 10 years!?!?! So, we all gave her our Gyne contacts just so that she can get herself checked out.

There are many types of Ovarian Cyst and I don't think Gila knows what kind she has until it is removed and tested. There are the Functional cysts, Dermoid cysts, Serous and mucinous cystadenomas, Endometrioma, Functional tumours (Ovarian stromal tumours), Fibromas, Brenner tumours. From my late night research, I note that only functional cysts will disappear on their own and that is why her Gyne asked her to monitor her next period. Of course there are lots of NSFD(Not Safe For Dinners) pictures you can see, but I suggest against it.

Gila probably has to undergo a Laparoscopy surgery (also known as keyhole surgery). She told us that it might be a more complicated surgery compared to the first one that she did. I'm not in Singapore at the moment and I'm currently trying to get tickets to fly back to support her during her surgery.

The return of cyst girl

2005-12-02T17:02:00.000+08:00

I made a trip to my gyne today. Last night while watching Scrubs, I decided once and for all that there was tension below and I had to go find out if it was a cyst or me getting fat.

So first thing this morning I called my gyne whom I haven't seen for 3 years and found her new clinic in Serangoon Gardens. I had to wait quite a bit and some kiddo was running up and down screaming his head off. Bloody annoying and NOT cute after 10 mins of that so I went to NTUC instead and bought groceries while waiting for my turn.

Ok. Three years is too long between pap smears. Best one goes once a year.

It isn't painless. Nor is it very painful. Bearable lar.

After the pap smear my gyne said she didn't detect anything wrong. Then we yakked about rubbish. I said, 'So there's no cyst? But I feel something!'

She said, 'Unless in the womb, want to scan?'

And lo and behold, TAH DAH- the return of the cyst. Confirmed. I had one removed three years ago. From the vaginal wall. That one had no scar. Didn't even know what happened.

This time, because it's in the womb, I have a choice of two scars.
One of them is called keyhole surgery: one scar at the belly button and two 1 cm scars at the sides. Not bathing suit friendly.
The other is a smiley cut right below the belly button (a little further down)- bathing suit friendly- but smiley cut is long- at least 7 cm.

Argh. Which one should I go for?

One alternative is to wait a few days for my period to come and see if the cyst is still there- meaning that it's really a cyst (probably benign doc says) and not bloody period stuff.

But because of its size - about 4 cm in diameter- it's most probably a cyst. DAMN!

PAP Smear

2005-12-02T14:24:00.000+08:00

Women everywhere are having sex younger nowadays (as compared to our parents' time), but do single women in Singapore get their PAP Smear test regularly? I don't think so.

With over-the-counter contraceptive so readily available - aka Condom. And usually 'The Men' are in charge of it, single women don't see their doctors regarding "down-there" matters. In addition, it's weird to ask your mum for her Gyne contact if you are not married. You don't want her to know, your extracurricular activities outside, right? So how? You just don't go to the Gyne lor. Besides, it's way too embarrassing for someone (who is not your partner) to look you down there too, let alone probe and poke.

But, Cervical Cancer is not something you should just brush off your shoulders. Come on, every goondu knows if cancer is discovered at the early stage, it can be cured.

I did my Pap Smear at Marine Parade Polyclinic. I was there for another purpose - I thought I found a breast lump while doing my own Self-examination. Okay, that would have to be another topic, another day. Gila was there with me for support. I remembered that it was a lady doctor and an elderly auntie "Missy" (nurse). The steel cold equipment on the tray already looked painful. Okay, if you ask me if the PAP Smear experience was painful, I'll tell you - Yes, Discomfort more like it. Just like the first time you have sex - you must not be stressed so that the muscles will be relaxed. Anyway, after being examined, I came out of the room (polyclinic what!) and tried hard not to scratch myself. At the end, Gila had to shielded me from the public so that I can scratch.

The nurse asked me if I wanted the results of my PAP smear to be sent to my home address or just call my mobile. I opt for the latter. A week later, the clinic called to tell me that I'm okay, but to come back again next year for another PAP Smear. A small price to pay for discomfort huh? Really, it's not as bad as how you would imagine it to be.

A mere $15 (singaporean only) at the polyclinic for a peace of mind. You will probably need to provide your name and personal particulars when you register for the Pap smear. If you do not wish to have your screening results mailed to your home address, you can have them telephone or maybe even SMS you too.

You can check out the Health Promotion Board for the list of Polyclinic offering PAP Smear as well as the contact numbers to make an appointment.

I now have my own Gyne who happens to be a man. Husband is alright with it as long as... he doesn't have a huge black mole on the side of his mouth with long hair growing out of it and/or twitching eye which look like he is perpetually winking at you. YIKES!!

*As I type this entry, Gila is at her Gyne getting her PAP Smear.

Horny Me

2005-11-30T19:52:00.000+08:00

I think I am Ovulating right now as you read. I feel more strongly sexed (hornier) than usual. I find my husband incredibly sexy at the moment. Gosh, I even think my sofa is ‘oozing’ with charisma. There is an increase in vaginal discharge, I need to change my Panty-liners ever so often. My husband calls me – “Frisky” and runs away from me. I can’t help myself; it’s the hormones messing with me. Mother Nature is making me feel and act like that because I am at my most fertile.

After so many years, I grew to understand my body quite well. I know after these few days of trying not to ‘hump’ anything within sight, my breast will seem a little bigger and heavier. Then, it’ll get tender and sore. Soon after that, I’ll get my infamous PMS with water-retention and NO amount of ice cream or chocolate can cure me. And then, it's Period time.

As the only part of your period, you can see is when the blood is released, but for the rest of the month, things are going on inside your body which come to the technical but information part of this entry.

Phase 1:

The 1^st day of your period is considered the 1^st day of the new menstrual cycle. The uterus lining, built up from your last cycle is no longer needed, it begins to disintegrate.

Menstrual cramps may occur for the first 2 days of your period. The production of prostaglandins (chemical substance which cause contractions of the muscles), causes the muscles of the uterus to contract so the unwanted lining can be shed. This shedding of the uterus lining is the menstrual bleeding.

Phase 2:

By this time, your bleeding stop and your ovaries begin to produce the female egg (Ovum). During this time, your ovaries produce more oestrogen. As the level of oestrogen rises (breast tender, more vagina discharge, hornier) in your blood, a bubble forms on the outside of the ovary containing the ripe eggs. The lining of the uterus also begins to thicken with extra blood cells.

Phase 3:

The ripe egg in the ovary is now released into the fallopian tube. (No, you are not a chicken. You don't lay eggs.) This is called Ovulation. The ovaries start to produce the hormone progesterone which causes the lining of the uterus to become soft, spongy.

Phase 4:

The egg which is in the fallopian tube takes about 5 to 7 days to travel to the uterus. This is where if sperm gets inside, it will fertilised the egg - hence, Pregnancy!! But if the egg is not fertilised, and the progesterone and oestrogen level which have been building up, would drop sharply causing PMS. I don't have to explain what is PMS. Anyway, as your hormone level drops, the unfertilised egg begins to disintegrate. The lining of blood and fluid starts to break away from the walls of the uterus and... *drum roll please*... you get your period. Yes, goondu. Thats the bleeding part of the period that you see.

Anyway, that's my own interpretation of the so called - Menstrual Cycle. If you do a net search, you'll find professional doing a better job than me. The main point is that you have to understand your body. Read your body. Submit to your body needs (I meant chocolates!). This is definitely an individualistic experience.

By the way, the husband & I are not trying for a baby, so while he stay out of reach, I’ll just be a grouch and take frequent cold showers.

source: Women's Health Information, Cool nurse & of coz, the wonderful world of the internet.

4 rules of starting and maintaining a Fuck Buddy relationship

2005-11-30T17:25:00.000+08:00

1) Before sleeping with each other, set the relationship right: clarify that you do not want a relationship of the BF/GF sort.
2) Some romance is fine- it's foreplay. Don't confuse sex with love. If confused, stop.
3) Absolutely no clinging. Do not whine, pull a long face when your FB can't meet you for a romp, do not give cold shoulder or be revengeful by witholding sex next time he/she asks.
4)Practise sexual equality. Respect each other.

How to Correctly wear a Condom

2005-11-30T13:03:00.001+08:00

In the wake of Bullshit Limpet's entry, I thought that everyone (yes, even the women) should be taught how to wear a condom. It's not a laughing matter because your stupidity/ignorance might lead to unwanted pregnancy or Sexually Transmitted Disease.

Don’t be Stupid!

Most Condom contains detailed instructions for correct use. Make sure you read and understand them before you use it. Actually, reading the user manual can be interesting.

Don’t think that you are a girl, you don’t need to know. For pleasure, ease, and effectiveness, both partners should know how to put on and use a condom. You might want to try it on any fruit or vegetable (use your imagination) as practice makes perfect.

Always put the condom on before the penis touches the vagina. Know that men leak fluids from their penises before and after ejaculation. Pre-ejaculate can carry enough sperm to cause pregnancy. It can also carry enough germs to pass sexually transmitted infections.

I cannot stress this enough - Use a condom only ONCE. Use a fresh one for each erection. Don’t be a cheapo!!!

How now, Brown Cow?

Condoms usually come rolled into a ring shape. They are individually sealed in aluminum foil or plastic. Be careful — don't tear the condom while unwrapping it. If it is torn, brittle, stiff, or sticky, throw it away and use another. In doubt, throw away. Again – Don’t be a Cheapo!

• Most condoms nowadays come lubricated. No need to put more.

• Pull back the foreskin, unless circumcised, before rolling on the condom.

• Place the rolled condom over the tip of the hard penis. Don’t be Kiasu, wait until it’s fully erected!!

• Leave a half-inch space at the tip to collect semen. Most men forget to do this.

• Pinch the air out of the tip with one hand while placing it on the penis. If you don’t do this step, breakage of condom might occur.

• Unroll the condom over the penis with the other hand.

• Roll it all the way down to the base of the penis. Remember to remove as much pubic hair caught inside. I don’t know, you might be damn hairy!

• Smooth out any air bubbles. Again - Friction against air bubbles can cause condom to breaks.

• Final Stage: Aahhh….ENJOY!

Final Countdown!

• Remove condom carefully before the penis softens.

• Don't be kan-cheong and spill the semen — hold the condom against the base of the penis while you pull out.

• Wrap used condom in toilet paper and dispose it properly. Do not flush the used condom.

• Wash the penis with soap and water before embracing again.

source: Information from my personal supply

The use of contraceptives; Condoms

2005-11-30T09:56:00.000+08:00

For all you sex newbies out there, contraceptives are VERY IMPORTANT. Don't feel shy or embarassed about buying them as these are ultimately products for us consumers and as a consumer's right, we don't have to feel shy/embarassed about buying them.

I have seen 40yr olds covering their box of condoms with snacks (Big ass packets like Lay's (Ha ha ha) potato chips at 7-11 counters. That's just plain sad lah. And don't be cheap! If you wanna do it, you better wear it. Don't act mucho and say things like withdrawal method and shit. If you get STD or you/your GF/FB gets pregnant and must get abortion, aiyoh... Someone's going to get hurt real bad.

Some Precautions with Condoms;

1. Store condoms in cool & dry place. Avoid exposure to direct sunlight & mechanical damage

2. Only use water based lubricants. Oil-based lubricants and other related organic products will damage the condom.

3. The condom is for single use only. Non-vaginal use of condoms may increase the risk of them slipping or being damaged in the process of intercourse. Just make sure you use a lot of lubricants. Over the counter, you can get Durex lubes which are pretty good, it takes a while to dry up.

4. No contraceptions can provide 100% protection against pregnancy or sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) including AIDS.

I cannot say this enough, "If you wanna do it, you better wear it". Do look out for my next blog on the condoms I have tried and recommended brands and products.

Rimming

2005-11-29T18:55:00.000+08:00

I had an interesting conversation last night with an old friend. He's a twenty something who recently started a job in the shipping line and I asked him if he's met any new people. i guess we still adhere a little to the rule of keeping bedroom secrets to ourselves but he had made such a startling discovery, I think he needed to share the wonderful news with someone.

Being a sportsman and someone who looks pretty decent, X has had a fair share of girls fling themselves at him (this I must add, he is pretty modest about). Oh golden rule of thumb: never brag about your sexual conquests. This has the effect of turning off potential FBs (Fuck Buddies)/gfs/bfs cos they'll think they're only another trophy for your list to brag to someone else about. Anyway, he sounded more like a confession cos I think he was quite ashamed of himself for losing control. Some hot chick offered herself to him one night in ....Indonesia? (I can't remember) and before he knew it, she'd unzipped him and started giving him a blowjob! He was so stunned he decided he couldn't say, 'Hey, wait a minute, I don't want to have a relationship you, know?' and this ended up in a one-night-stand. Apparently she was DAMN good at it and he's been wondering where she got the experience from. She claims from 'watching porn'. I told him to get an STD check. I didn't know you could get so good from watching porn. I must be jealous. Anyway I hate porn. I'm a girl. Horny Limpet and I don't really dig it but Bullshit Limpet has a pretty neat collection. Well, back to the story, he did it 7 times that night and had a choice of turning her into a FB but he didn't. What's my point. Somewhere in the course of the night, she started Rimming- this means licking his arse. X went something like this, 'Hey....don't go there......yeeeee......ooooo. Nice......'
and in his own words, 'SHOCKINGLY, I LIKE rimming'

DAMN. I should have taken up the offer when my FB suggested it. Also, if I'm not wrong- that's the way the group Korn got its name. Some member of the band was getting his arse rimmed after eating pop corn some hours ago and lo and behold out popped some ....corn....from his arse!'

Eeeee- maybe it's just nice too be on the receiving end. I'm a selfish lover.

Anyway, on Bullshit Limpet's train of thought. It would be terrible to suffer from Micropenis. I hope that doesn't happen to anyone I know. (Ooo oooo! Jude Law!) All I can say is perhaps for every fella who has Mircopenis, there's a girl with shallow vagina. I'm pretty shallow (but eh... not THAT shallow- yeah. Pretty sure.)

Micropenis

2005-11-29T10:30:00.000+08:00

I was reading thru some medical journals for fun and to look for weird facts and figures and I came across this term in the paper on Male genital disorders; Micropenis. This is a disorder in which the penis, although normally formed, is well below the average size, as determined by standard measurements.

As a man, a Chinese man somemore, I have always been told by my friends of other races that the Chinese males have a much smaller "weapon" size as compared with the other 3 races. We all know it ain't the truth but I still kena good good lah as I got double the small "knife" factors which are one; being Chinese and another; I am fat. It's all bullshit. I am proud of my weapon size, I think it's just right. Of cos I wouldn't mind it to be bigger lah.

Getting out of point... Anyway after reading that article, I was thinking, man, I hate to be told by anyone that I have a Micropenis. You can call me small dick, insufficient penetration, small knife or small weapon but MICROpenis! Shit! That HAS got to make any guys' ego to about the same size as his penis; Micro!

But this is not the 1st time I came across this problem. Back in 1990's I was reading a copy of Her World and remember coming across one of those help letters to the Sex Q&A section. This lady was asking if her husband's erected penis of 5cm was of normal average size. 5CM LEH!! ERECTED SOME MORE!!!! Wahlau if limp leh, simee size? 2cm? 1.5cm? How does he pee? How to bathe and change in public swimming pools? How he survived National Service and not get ridiculed to death? Some questions, we will never know the answers...

Educational Animations

2005-11-29T10:05:00.000+08:00

Here are some interesting but informative animation.

1. Am I a Freak?

When we were pre-teens, we used to wonder what will/have happened to our body. This is an interesting animation for insecure teens. It has the Girls' version as well as the Lads' version.

2. How Pregnancy Happens

This is an interesting flash in case you are wondering about "How Pregnancy Happens", In case you don't know already.

Born Again Virgin

2005-11-28T17:02:00.000+08:00

Gila Limpet and I hate it when our Gyne ask us if we are sexually active. Our record shows that we are single and if we say "Yes", then we'll look like a slut. If we deny, then it defeat the purpose of going to the Gyne for a Pap Smear. *sigh...

After my first sexual encounter when I am about 21, I started getting all religious and stuff. My faith says "NO!" to premarital sex, so at age 25, I told my partner that I no longer want to have sex till we are married. I was then "Class" by Gila & Bullshit Limpet as "Born Again Virgin".

While Gila and Bullshit Limpet (especially Bullshit) shared with me their expeditions, usually over dinner, I glared at them with envy. I, had nothing to share. However, I was determined to remained crowned as a "Born Again Virgin", at least until my wedding night.

We are in the 21st Century (?), still there are no flying cars. But our culture and society has become more liberal with "Fuck Buddies" & One night stands. Women who has "lost" it to early and too many times are now flocking to Japan for Hymen replacement surgery.

Are they considered that, the new breed of "Born Again Virgins"?

Would you seriously consider such surgery?

Jailbait

2005-11-28T13:32:00.000+08:00

That's Jailbait. I cannot understand what is going on with the three idiots who had sex with the 13 year old girl? Now they're all going to jail cos even though it was consensual, she was underage. I think the punishment is apt cos they were not so much horny as they were stupid.

Nowadays there are also many teachers having sordid relationships with their students. In Singapore! They are just asking for trouble. I had a conversation with my colleague the other day. Her theory is that secondary school boys are a good lay cos they're as horny as anything and can keep coming. And of course, if you're the older woman you can 'teach' him what to do. But the idea is still a little revolting. How can you deflower someone whom you're supposed to er...guide...enlighten.

Latest Report

2005-11-28T10:30:00.000+08:00

In the latest report concerning Brit kids and sex it's been shown that a significant percentage of teenagers between 13 and 19 DO sex and drugs which is certainly shocking.

One wonders what the numbers are for Singapore.

Nevertheless, it is our social responsibility to discuss sex in order to undo myths. For example, 'Can I get pregnant from kissing?' and the like.